Where have all the weekends gone?

It's Monday. Again. I've been tasked with cleaning up everything that occurred this weekend by myself while caring for three small children.  Unfair. Okay, not really, my husband is currently freezing his man bits off out there at work.  But still. If my kids can whine so can I.
My latest mommy issue is my three year old and her bed.  They just do not get along.  They argue at nap time, they fight at bed time.  I've punished them both, but neither will listen. I had a nice long battle until 1 am last night, er, this morning. For some reason my child can think of any excuse NOT to sleep, and when that has been proven wrong another one pops right up. For example, "it's different than my old room" well, it's now been a good solid 4 months in our new house going on 5, so it's no longer different. "I don't like the dark" AHA! Night light. "It's still too dark" BAM! Pretty unicorn lamp. "I need a bedtime story" Let's bust out some Dr.Seuss! "It's noisy downstairs" I'll close the door "AHHHHHH! NO DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR!" the list goes on and on.  It's an argument I'll never win.  So my solution was it's daddy's turn.  Of course that back fired on me when HIS alarm woke me up at 6 am and I realized he never came back to bed.  I found him in the floor of her room covered in the blanket to my other daughter's toddler bed with his head on a pretty little princess pillow.  My response? I laughed my ass off all the way back to bed.

Hello Friday, Goodbye Sanity

Ah Friday.  The end of the work week (for most) and beginning of a relaxing weekend. Ha. Yeah. Right. If only I was that lucky.  This morning I woke up at a bright and early 6 am with 3 kids waking up long before they were ready to.  For those of you without children, that meant lots of screaming and crying.  But we powered through. Once I prepared their gourmet breakfast (that's how my kids roll folks lol!) of bacon, fresh fruit, and a waffle, I began cleaning.  Of course as I'm in the middle of attempting to unload the dishwasher while peyton is occupied in her high chair (which by the way she MUST be contained while I do that or else I would have no dishes and a broken dishwasher) I started smelling gas. My first thought was YAY ME! I'M SO LUCKY! Unfortunately for you my mental sarcasm doesn't come across in black and white.  So I call the gas company, and after about 5 attempts of trying to reach a human being I finally succeed in my mission.  They come out and tell me what I already knew, which is that it's the heat.  Luckily I was smart enough to marry a very well qualified HVAC tech.  So problem solved. GO ME!
Now I have the fun job of getting the kids back to their interrupted routine.  See here's the thing, with 3 kids under 4 you MUST have a routine.  If not, you'll die. Really, you will just fall over dead right there smack in the middle of the floor.  It's happened. I promise. It's called SPDS. Sudden parent death syndrome.  It's a horrible epidemic our nation has been sweeping under the rug for too long in my humble opinion.  There are ways to prevent SPDS a generous amount of coffee, followed by at least a 5 minute shower and the ability to brush your teeth in any room of the house, followed by the loss of all modesty and realization that if you want to pee you're going to have to live with 3 people walking in on you or trying to climb in your lap. Spread the word folks, save us all from SPDS.

Howdy Folks!

So, I feel the world would be honored to have the knowledge of my amazingly interesting life as a stay at home mom.  I also feel many mothers would benefit from my unique parenting style.  Ok, so really, I just need some where to openly vent.  Being a mom is HARD.  Being a mom of 3 small children is HARDER. Being a mom of 3 small children, while running a household, taking care of 2 dogs and 2 cats, learning to drive (which means not being able to drive) and having a husband who is always at work is the HARDEST.  I've come to find the best way to cope is having a sense of humor, and LOTS of caffeine, topped off with some pretty kickass friends and family.  I shall start with a fun story from yesterday.  While on the phone with my BBFF (yes, she does get an extra B, don't fight me on it) I got the genius idea to be an awesome mom and let my older two girls have marshmallows.  Snowman ones at that. My oldest daughter asks to hold the whole bag. I stupidly agree to this thinking how bad could it be.  Well I shall tell you how bad that could be.  Some how the idea to throw the awesome snowman shaped marshmallows at the running ceiling fan popped into their heads.  Those little suckers can FLY!  I mean really fly! It was like having one of those ball shooter things filled with snowman marshmallows attached to my living room ceiling. And all I could manage to do was laugh.  Right up until I realized I had to clean them all up with two of the most unreliable assistants in the world.